youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
