Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
