He uses pillows to masturbate.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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