Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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