I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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