I can tuck mytits in my pants
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
