No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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