I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
