is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
