I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
