new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
