I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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