How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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