You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
