FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
