i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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