I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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