What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
