White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
