it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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