I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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