mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
