i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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