tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We left the knife in your bed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
