I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
