I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
