She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
