I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
