Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
