Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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