Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
