why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
