I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
