I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
