That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
