I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
