Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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