Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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