Sry I called you an 8
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
