Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
