I wish i was in the wii world.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
