Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
