The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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