Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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