Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
