Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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