Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
