Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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