So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
