I wanna bring you to show and tell
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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